By Eliana Fulton
Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.
In the reality game show Survivor, amongst all of the chaos in competing for a cash prize, the contestant must survive in the wild, and one of the most vital parts of that challenge is making and maintaining a fire. Near the beginning of the show, contestants can win flint or matches, but some people learn to make fire with a pair of glasses or the right kind of rocks.
Initially, it’s really exciting to make a spark, and to build a small flame into a large fire. It means you can cook, clean, stay warm, and keep a foot in the race, but, the bigger the flame the harder it is to keep it lit.
A writer’s passion for their craft is like this fire. When we first start projects that we are excited for we light an absolute bonfire. We write and write and write and after we’ve thought of a million ideas and worked on a small fraction of them, that fire starts to extinguish. Life gets in the way of caring for the flames, and we run out of fuel. With all of the eagerness to use the fire, we didn’t manage it the right way.
This isn’t just writer’s block; it’s something ongoing and overwhelming. That passion for a project or even for writing itself can fizzle out. With writer’s block the solution is often pushing yourself to BICHOK (Butt In Chair, Hands On Keyboard). In the case of your flame for writing, pushing yourself is like throwing a bucket of water on a pile of ashes.
Students, professionals, and parents are just a few people of many that experience burnout all of the time. In pushing ourselves to give everything, you’ll lose the energy to do anything. The solution to burnout is not a caffeinated drink or even a single weekend at the spa. The best way to keep a fire burning is to tend to it regularly and efficiently.
Rain
As the kids say, I am delulu enough to believe that I could make it on Survivor… as long as it doesn’t rain. Constant rain is what keeps me from applying to be on the show because it seems like the most miserable thing. It’s uncomfortable and it prevents the contestants from accomplishing anything including making a fire. Even after the rain stops, all of the surrounding wood is wet. They have to wait at least a day before they can successfully try to rebuild a fire and dry their clothes.
Sometimes burnout is short and we can solve it with a week away from the computer or a good facial, but a lot of the time burnout feels more like an endless torrential downpour. It feels as though everything is against you and the idea of even making an effort to rebuild the flame or gather kindling just seems pointless.
Stop everything. Put it down. Take a deep breath.
It is time to reevaluate a few things. Give yourself guilt free time off to get to the root of the problem, because if you don’t it’s just going to snowball. Take a break from all of the things that are draining you. I promise that ultimately this will help you meet your goals better, not waste any time.
Once you’ve relaxed and taken care of your physical health (nap, massage, mani-pedi, food, sweet treat, stretch, etc.), it’s time for self reflection. Through whatever medium feels best to you (notebook, journaling, sketching, iPad, coloring) research yourself.
Here are a few prompts to help you get started:
What do you want to be doing with your time?
Whose validation are you pursuing?
Why are you writing/working on your current project? Is it because you want to or because you feel like you “should”?
What acts of kindness am I taking for myself?
What is the biggest contributor to my stress right now?
Who can I talk to when I feel like this?
What does success look like to me?
Through these questions you can find the root or roots of the problem and make a positive change. Taking a break is great, but returning to the place that’s raining and hoping for sunshine is… well as a wise person once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
Blame
The fire has dissolved to ashes, and now we have to remake it before we can eat lunch. Who let the fire go out? Did someone extinguish it on purpose? Whose job was it to collect wood? What elements of nature led to this?
After we find the root of our burnout, and point our tired finger at it, it’s time to set a clear boundary. This might mean setting a timer on social media apps or telling your coworker that they need to pay attention in meetings instead of asking you questions afterward.
The process of setting boundaries can lead to an accusatory battle between the people and things you care about. Sometimes this is productive, but often it’s just an additional stressor.
In Survivor contestants have two options. They can either vote out the problem person or work together to prevent a problem in the future. People that are straining supplies and don’t make an effort to contribute to the group's survival usually get voted off the island, but a good teammate takes responsibility for their actions.
In your search for the root cause of your writer’s burnout, there is an emotional temptation to be antagonistic toward that person or thing that’s draining you, but that’s not very productive. You don’t have to cut it out of your life completely, just give yourself distance and work with it/them in moderation.
Getting It Started Again
Relighting the burnt pieces of an old fire is pointless. Instead you need to go gather new materials and make something that will last.
There are a few different parts to a good fire. It needs tinder, like coconut husks or pine leaves, kindling, or small sticks, and fire wood, which consists of larger log pieces.
Start with your tinder. What do you want to be writing? This serves to catch the spark and start the burn. Add the oxygen of all of your favorite ideas. It doesn’t really matter if this part is practical or sense Al because it’s job is to burn up quickly and catch a flame on the larger parts of the fire.
Next, find a good space to construct the scaffolding. This might be a pit in the center of your life or a small area off to the side where you can manage it and go to it when you want. Once you’ve found this space slowly add your twigs and small branches. These are your bigger plans and your outlines. This is the base of your new project or activity and all of the ways you can keep it going. One twig might be finding a peer reviewer and another might be setting a goal of sending this to a short story contest. Make sure you don’t add them too fast or you’ll smother the spark with all of the pressure you’re adding to your passion project.
Now you have a decent fire going, but to maintain it you need firewood. This is the harder work. It requires you to cut down and chop some trees then construct a framework. This is the bulk of your writing career. Make a schedule that is sustainable and stick to it. Watch your fire and if you need to step away to get more wood, then do that. You might need some tinder to ignite certain areas, or a couple of twigs to prop up parts of the firewood. You might even need to go to the well and get some water to drink, or take a nap, so that you’ll have the energy to watch and work with the fire.
Different Stokes for Different Folks
Unfortunately, there is no cure-all for burnout, but there are different techniques for those that find themselves back at ground zero. These involve thinking ahead and making some kind of plan to either keep the fire going and/or restart it in a timely manner.
Make a schedule: Whether you’re on a tight deadline or completely lacking in urgency, creating a forgiving and productive schedule is a healthy way to keep tabs on your mental health. This needs to involve time for writing of course, but also several decent breaks, time to eat, drink water, exercise and sleep. This is the obvious answer, but it’s the one a lot of people (including me) don’t want to do. Give yourself reasonable and forgiving goals. Many writers set word count or page expectations for themselves every day. These goals are great for productivity, but they can end up being stressful if they’re too strict. Set aside “catch up” time each week to do the things you’re behind on.
Set boundaries: Writing is probably not the soul cause of your burnout. Everyone has other responsibilities. It might be as big as the kids you take care of, a full time job, or a serious relationship. It might be as small as cooking for yourself, working on self care, or a social media addiction. Any time consuming commitment can be contributing to burnout. Set boundaries for the things that overuse your energy. That thing might be writing or a toxic friendship. If I’m being honest, mine is my phone. Whatever it is, remember that life is about prioritization. My high school band director used to tell us “I would rather be really good at 2 or 3 of things, than mediocre at a whole bunch of things”.
Create a support system: Writing can be such an isolating activity that when you stop doing it there might not be anyone who even notices. Find people that will notice. Go to book clubs, writing tutors, or writing clubs and find people that you enjoy sharing your work with. Find that person that you write for, and tell them your ideas or share your manuscript document with them. If you’re ready for it, hire an editor or peer reviewer, and allow them to push you to make your writing better. You would be surprised how much knowing someone is excited to read your work will reinvigorate your love for writing.
Take breaks: I know I mentioned this as part of making a schedule, but it is so important. Take a break every hour that you’re writing. Take 1 or 2 breaks a week from writing completely. Take breaks from your project to free write or read a book. Step away from your project before revising it. Take a couple of weeks off here and there every year to vacation. If you take a little bit of time to relax now, you’ll prevent yourself from taking a lot of time to relight your fire later.
The Challenge
Sometimes Survivor contestants go head to head in fire making contests. The winner is the first person to make a fire large enough to burn through a small rope about a foot above the table. One season, two women did so poorly at this challenge that the producers gave them matches to help get started. It took almost two hours.
Don’t let that be you.
Before the challenge comes, learn how to make your own fire. Try out different techniques for relaxing and for writing. I have personally found that going on walks and meditating do not work for me, but reading a book that inspires me or baking something inspires me to relight my fire. There are days I can type for hours, and there are days I just make voice memos of my ideas in the car.
Prepare now before the burnout kicks in, and find the things that refuel you.